


Fore!

by rosefox



Category: Original Work
Genre: Fae & Fairies, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Golf, Happy Ending, Magic, Really quite a lot of swearing, Something Hiding In The Bushes, Sports, Swearing, Trick or Treat: Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-07-29 20:24:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16271690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosefox/pseuds/rosefox
Summary: A golf gnome wreaks havoc in the lives of two prep school friends.





	Fore!

By the third hole, they knew something was very wrong.

"Look at this bullshit," Ryan said. He glanced at Isaiah, who was staring at his phone. "Hey!"

"Sorry," Isaiah said, not sounding sorry. "You're taking forever, though."

"I know! Look!" Ryan's golf ball lay on the green, an easy two feet from the cup. He tapped it gently with his putter. It rolled to the rim of the cup... and veered around it, stopping two feet further away.

Isaiah regarded it for a long time. "That is bullshit," he said.

"I'm saying!" Ryan glanced over his shoulder; there was no one nearby. "Can I tell you something weird?"

He expected Isaiah to joke about his mom being weird, but instead his friend looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, okay."

"So two days ago I was at the driving range, and I hit a ball off into the bushes and hear someone yell. But there's no one there! I go over to find the ball and there's... this is fucked up, okay? There's a little dude like ten inches tall, sitting on his ass, with his hat knocked off and a big bump on his head. And he cusses me out in some language I don't know, wrinkles his nose, and then, I swear to God, just disappears. And now I can't sink a putt for shit." He took a deep breath. "Go ahead, tell me to lay off the drugs."

Isaiah laughed. The two of them lined up every week for piss tests to stay on Smitty Prep's lacrosse team; there was no way Ryan was taking anything stronger than Tylenol.

"His hat knocked off, huh?" he said. "Was it a pointy hat, like a garden gnome?"

"Yes, it fucking was, okay?" Ryan's voice cracked and he turned red. "I know you're making fun of me but it really was."

"No, I'm not making fun of you," Isaiah said. "Because yesterday I saw the same little dude. I was taking a breather by the water hazard at the 14th hole and I saw something thrashing around in the water. I thought it was a cat or something, so I reached in and grabbed it, and it was the... what, elf? Gnome? I whacked him on the back and he coughed up a bunch of water and sat there wheezing for a minute. Then he realized I could see him, I guess, because he freaked out and yelled a bunch of nonsense and grabbed his hat and wiggled his nose and disappeared." He shrugged awkwardly. "And since then... I can only hit a hole in one."

"That little fucker," Ryan said, tossing down his putter in disgust. "He gave all my golf skills to you!"

Isaiah held his hands up. "I don't even want them, dude! It doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like _me_. And no one's ever going to believe I'm not cheating. I want to win on my own merits, not from some fairy magic garbage." He shook his head. "I can't believe I'm even saying this."

"Okay," Ryan said. "Okay. This is fucking weird, but okay. So what we do is, we find him, and we make him fix it."

They soon realized this was easier said than done, both because ten-inch-tall invisible gnomes are very difficult to find on 100 acres of golf course and because Ryan's smartwatch beeped to remind them they had to be back on campus in an hour for dinner. They packed up and slung their clubs into the golf cart. "You drive," Ryan said. "I'm too mad."

Isaiah swung into the driver's seat and swung right back out with a yelp. An echoing yelp came from the gnome, who had apparently decided the seat would be a nice place to doze. It sat up and rubbed its eyes, and then stared at the two of them.

"You!" Ryan yelled. He pounced with the speed that made him such a demon on the lacrosse field and came up clutching the gnome with both hands. 

It stuck its tongue out at him and wrinkled its nose. Ryan snapped, "Bound you are and bound you be and till released you are not free!" The gnome's jaunty expression vanished; the gnome did not. It wriggled in his hands like a fish out of water.

"The fuck, dude," Isaiah said.

"I did some research," Ryan said. "Stephanie the SAT tutor knows a lot about this shit, it turns out. Okay, you little turd, let's talk."

The gnome shook its head frantically.

"And now I know you speak English. So take the curse off me and the... blessing or whatever the fuck off Isaiah, right now, okay? Or I'm taking you home and putting you in a fish tank."

"No pets in the dorms," Isaiah said automatically.

The gnome muttered something in its native language. "If I reverse the magic," it said in a squeaky voice, "you will release me and never seek me out again. Both of you. That is our bargain. Agreed?"

"And then you'll just curse us both as soon as we let you go, right?" Isaiah said. "I know how these things go. You have to promise you will never work magic on either of us again, or otherwise retaliate. We go our way, you go your way, no further interactions."

"Agreed," the gnome said reluctantly.

"Agreed," Ryan said, with a firm nod.

"Agreed," Isaiah said, with a twinge of regret.

Ryan released the gnome. It grumbled, wrinkled its nose, and disappeared.

Ryan and Isaiah glanced at each other and went to get their putters and a couple of balls. Ryan, very carefully, sank a putt. Isaiah, very deliberately, whiffed. They both sighed with relief.

"I'm still driving," Isaiah said, putting his putter back in his bag.

"You go ahead," Ryan said, settling into the passenger seat and closing his eyes. "I'm going to savor knowing that my grandmother won't disown me for dishonoring her golf clubs."

Isaiah patted the driver's seat and got in cautiously, just in case.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Aris TGD for the brainstorming and Stephanie the SAT tutor (really) for the beta!


End file.
